The first thing I started doing was meditation, as I noticed it was also mentioned in the bible. During my meditations, I gave gratitude to God and practiced stillness. It really worked for me, because I started to see things more clearly after each meditation. I was able to surrender to God and empty my vessel for him to guide me.
The second thing I did was to listen to affirmations. I needed to focus on myself and my self-worth. I don’t need anyone to validate me, and I know myself better than anyone else, so I pour the love I once gave away back into myself, and I have never felt so great! I only then realised how powerful I am, how lovable I am and how much I have neglected my own needs and my self-care all my life. Instead of waiting for someone to nurture me after I nurtured them, I can do it for myself, and I can do it better than anyone else!
The third thing I did was write down a list of requests in my prayer to God every day. I know others call this manifestation, but it means the same to me. I simply persist in asking God for the same things that I have always wanted, and I have trust in him that he will provide them when I am ready. I have faith that he will pour into the empty vessel that I have prepared for him. And while waiting for this to happen, I need to work on self-improvement, so that he will find me fit enough to receive his blessings.
In addition, I started to pick up my old hobbies again, I attended lessons from a great guitar teacher, and I started to write songs again. My great girlfriend could proofread for me, so I started to write stories again. My best friend taught me how to set up a website and my son did all the illustrations for it, so I started to produce better content on my website day-by-day. I've watched so many YouTube videos to learn how to create artwork using different design tools, to create music using different digital audio workstations, I've even learnt about solfeggio frequencies and binary beats for creating meditation music. My creativity has increased every day, and I am very sure it all came from God. I look back at my old self a few months ago, and marvel at what happened to me! I have gained so much knowledge and wisdom and built up so much strength with unstoppable passion and creativity!
I guess I have been given these tools as part of my skill set in order to communicate with people who are suffering the same way I have. I've found out that most of the people who are suffering are just like me, extremely introverted, highly empathetic and tend to express their emotions through music and art. I have the idea that if I can adapt these skills, I can probably communicate better, as we speak the same language.
I am forty-five and only just starting to live. It is never too late to start. And it is never too early to enjoy your accomplishments. I didn’t have anyone to correct my grammar and vocabulary while I was writing all these. I only had Microsoft Word’s spelling and grammar check. But God sent me Jen who volunteered to proofread for me once I started publishing this book. I didn’t have anyone to teach me how to write music and lyrics when I started writing my songs, I only had a piano app on my cell phone. But God sent me Dicky who offered to arrange my song and record my singing for me once I started publishing it. I hadn't had any art lessons when I started creating artwork, I only had some A4 papers and markers that I borrowed from my son. But God sent me my son, the art director, who gave me advice once I started to publish my oracle cards.
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