To be honest, I never really care about my life purpose. I just got so drained in life that I barely have time to sleep or to dream every day. And so, this experience brought me this other gift: finding my life purpose.
There are terms like Starseed, Lightworkers and Healers. I don’t really know which one am I. I was told I need to heal myself then heal others in my dream, by an angel. It was a very private dream. I was at the very midst of my DNOS, and I was so confused what has happened to me. Then this dream came to me when I least expected it. It really did sound absurd; I couldn’t believe it. It was one of the third dream that I encountered during the DNOS. I swear I have absolutely no idea what a twin flame is, what is a two of cups at that time when I was dreaming that dream.
But I was told that “He” is my twin flame, a.k.a. two of cups and yet I need to focus on healing instead of what has happened in the connection. I need to heal others who also suffered. I was asking this figure if he is Satan because to be honest, this is really absurd even in my subconscious mind during my dream. But I was told that I am also an earth angel, and my mission is to serve the people and until I start serving my life purpose, I will continuously face challenges and experience suffering because I was meant to teach others what I have learnt and experienced and I am not doing it right now.
You can probably tell how angry I was when I woke up. Why me? It is so unfair! And of course, I ignored the dream afterwards, even though I can still remember it clearly to this day. I thought I was being crazy, having delusions and I really have the need to visit a doctor. But instead, the only thing I did was to continuously pray to God because I absolutely lost all my passions in life and my purpose in life at that point. I felt like a zombie without a soul every minute. I was in such despair, such sorrow and such grief that I could not explained. I did feel like this when I lost my father and my sister's dog, but it wasn’t that draining as I immediately accepted the reality. This experience was just simply dragging for too long.
I started to look up what is a twin flame and what is a two of cups. I have no idea what a twin flame is so when I saw what happened to Megan Fox and her twin, I was shocked. Why on earth would this happen to anyone! I don’t want this! This is too intense! Absolutely no way! So, I didn’t take it seriously. Then because of my lack of actions, I got to experience a second DNOS and this time, I felt so nostalgic without knowing why that I wanted to die literally.
So, I decided to stop thinking about the connection as I was told by the angel and focus on the healing. I started to search for answers online and luckily, there were a lot of people who suffered just like I did. And what is more shocking was that all these people and I shared similar experiences! I kept saying oh my goodness when I was reading and understanding their situations. I simply couldn’t believe all these. Then I watched all the pick-a-card tarot in YouTube to find out what is a two of cups and four of wands. I was so shocked to find out they do mean soulmate / twin flame. To this point, I gave up digging deeper so I started to do the cord cutting with hypnosis therapy I watched on YouTube. And I did have a scar on my chest till today after having done so. This was so insane. Imagine the shock I have for all these when I was trying to be good and read my bible. This is all too much. It is controversy to all my belief.
As time goes by, I realised I really need to do something about this. I cannot go on like this, I will eventually die if I continuously quit eating and living a normal life. So, I started to list down what I can do.
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